Icy Smirk, Fiery Death Glare
by life among the dead
Summary: Oneshots of Hakoda/Zuko. Yaoi, BoyxBoy.
1. Flaming Kitchenette of Love

Summary: Zuko is trying to make a special day even more special.

* * *

Hakoda had become accustomed to waking up in Zuko's tiny apartment. He had learned to not describe the little things Zuko did, like make space for his toothbrush in the bathroom and steal his shirts, as cute. He had also finally gained Mai's approval, which meant she was no longer randomly entering the apartment to check in on them. He missed the coffee and donuts she would sneak in while they were sleeping though. All and all, life was pretty good. Today, he and Zuko would have a rare day off together when Hakoda did not have to go to work or drive home and Zuko did not have school or work. So, Hakoda was understandably perturbed when he woke up alone.

Soft swearing from across the room indicated that Zuko had not gone far. Hakoda rolled over and spied Zuko with his fingers in his mouth, smacking the coffee maker. It was Mai's evil pet and only behaved for her. However, it seemed to be working. Amused, Hakoda continue to quietly watch. Zuko was unaware of his audience as he walked back towards the stove, and started stabbing whatever was in the skillet with a wooden spoon. The longer he watched, the more violent Zuko's cooking became. It wasn't until flaming toast suddenly flew out of the toaster and onto the floor that Hakoda even considered getting up. Zuko quickly had the toast situation under control, however, and his interference was not required.

When the skillet started to smoke, Hakoda finally decided to intervene. With Zuko already busy with the fire extinguisher, he decided it was best to remove the skillet from the stove before it ignited. The noxious smell of burnt toast combined with overheated non-stick skillet fumes and fire extinguisher goo filled the apartment. The fresh brewed coffee that was trickling into the coffeepot was in no way complementary.

Zuko sighed in defeat. Hakoda could tell that this was not something he was going to simply let go, not that Zuko ever did. He wrapped his arm around Zuko's waist and felt him melt into his side. Hakoda saw him pout in the window's reflection. He kissed the top of Zuko's head, and before he could go into a self-loathing rant more suited to a self-absorbed teenager, Hakoda held up the skillet and asked, "So what was this?" He watched Zuko's reflection as he scanned the blackened gooey remains in the steaming skillet.

"Eggs" was the only response he could get out of him. The more Hakoda tried to sooth Zuko with humor, the more upset he made him.

"You know that cereal can still be breakfast in bed, right?" Hakoda tried as a last ditch effort to placate Zuko, whose plan to make it a special day had literally gone up in smoke. It was already a special day and pointing that out would have been impossible without getting sappy.

Zuko brighten and walked them backwards to the cupboard to pull out a box of Super Marshmallow Adventure Bits. Hakoda cringed.

"Oh, look it has a prize."

Zuko ignored Hakoda's sarcasm and was suddenly only interested in finding said prize. When he pulled out a small robot with a look of pure joy and victory, Hakoda snatched it away and held it above his head. Zuko quickly tried to snatch it back, which resulted in several attempts at climbing Hakoda, before smacking it to the ground. Both men dove after it. After much struggling, Zuko held up the robot in triumph from his spot on the floor with Hakoda on top of him only to be kissed out of his senses. Hakoda pulled back once he was sure Zuko had forgotten all about breakfast and the stupid toy, hoping their day together could get back on track.

"It's still mine." Zuko's death grip on the toy hadn't lessened, despite Hakoda's efforts.

Hakoda leaned in and slid his hand up Zuko's leg. "Is that so?" He had no intention of fighting fairly.


	2. Catching Up

Summary: It had been a long month and a long night.

* * *

Zuko and Hakoda walked into Zuko's tiny apartment. It had been a long night. A month earlier, Hakoda had brought Zuko home to meet his family and in some fit of insanity, they decided to have dinner with everyone all together; Katara, Sokka, Iroh, Mai, and Sokka's girlfriend, Suki. Zuko had not been able to see Hakoda at all during the time in-between. It had been a long night.

Hakoda took off his jacket and went on about the evening, seemingly oblivious to the look Zuko was giving him. "Well, Suki thinks we're adorable."

"Yeah." Zuko locked the door. He stalked the older man, circling closer while Hakoda took off his tie and flung it across the room. Zuko closed in and fingered the newly exposed part of Hakoda's neck. He started unbuttoning Hakoda's shirt. "I think you're wearing too many clothes."

"Oh?" Hakoda slid his hands down Zuko's back. "So what are you going to do about it?" He pulled Zuko closer and kneaded his ass like bread dough. Zuko wasn't sure when that became such a turn on, but he didn't care either. He'd never undressed Hakoda so fast. Hakoda was amused by Zuko's constant need to rush everything. He countered by kissing Zuko and slowly undressing the younger man, taking time to gently caress each newly exposed patch of skin. It was not long before Zuko's impatience won out. In a move that surprised the older man, Zuko grabbed him by the cock and lead him to the bathroom.

Once there, Zuko turned on the shower. Hakoda chuckled and wrapped his arms around him. "The shower again? I didn't think you'd be into that when there weren't people around to hide the noise from. Or is it just my turn to pretend to drop the soap?"

Zuko leveled a glare at Hakoda's cocky smile and flicked water at him when he checked the temperature. Once he deemed the water hot enough, he stepped in and beckoned the object of his affection to join him. Hakoda did not need to be asked twice. They immediately became an entanglement of limbs, rocking against each other for much needed contact. Hakoda turned Zuko around. Zuko braced his arms against the shower wall. The feeling of Hakoda's mouth on his neck and the older man's hands roaming over his stomach was maddening. "Quit teasing."

Hakoda laughed deep in his chest. "Why?" He kissed his lover's cheek. Zuko rested his head against the shower wall and groaned when Hakoda's hand finally grasped his cock. He reached behind him to grab Hakoda's hip and hold the other man close to him. The pace Hakoda set was teasing and slow, but Zuko was too lost in the sensations of Hakoda grinding against him and the hand on his cock to protest. And after a month of neglect, it was more than enough. Much too soon Zuko felt his body tense and then shudder in release. When he came down from his orgasmic high, Hakoda was still behind him, sucking on his ear with his entire body pressed flush against his backside, slightly rocking his hard arousal against his rear, silently pleading for his own release. Zuko turned around. "Never be gone for a whole month again."

Under different circumstances Hakoda would have chuckled. "Never."

Zuko lowered to his knees and engulfed Hakoda's cock. They had a lot of catching up to do.


	3. Aversion

Summary: Katara is trying to give Hakoda and Zuko some aversion therapy.

* * *

Katara had decided a little aversion therapy was in order once Zuko's coming over became a regular thing. She carefully filled her squirt gun, figuring if it worked on keeping cats off the furniture, it should help keep her father off of Zuko, and more importantly, keep Zuko off her father.

At first, she kept her attacks few and far between in order to maintain her stealth. But as time went on and the origins of the attacks were still undetected, she became bolder. She squirted them at the slighted provocation; light hand touching while watching TV on the couch, lingering looks in the kitchen. Zuko always received the brunt of the lesson. But eventually, she went too far.

One sunny afternoon, Zuko and Hakoda were lounging in the hammock in the backyard, getting far too friendly in Katara's opinion. There was nowhere to hide, so taking an cue from her brother; she leapt out in a sudden sneak attack, spraying them both with the super soaker.

"Katara!"

Hakoda was not amused.


	4. The Art of Napping

Summary: Zuko and Hakoda perfect their napping skills.

* * *

There is a fine art to napping with another person. It requires much trial and error, before perfecting the steps to both parties getting proper rest. With Hakoda's irregular work hours and Zuko's strange schedule created by classes, studying, and working at the tea shop, napping was essential. Napping together thus became priority together time.

It was awkward at first. Once they finally found a position where Hakoda would not snore or body parts would not end up uncomfortably squished, there was a new challenge. Zuko could not sleep on his bad ear. They then had to learn how to get Zuko situated on his other side without him dangling off the edge of the couch. He fell in his sleep more than once during the process. Eventually, they managed to develop a procedure that worked on all of the furniture in Zuko's apartment.

They welcomed the new challenge of conquering the hammock in Hakoda's backyard.


	5. Laundry Day

Summary: Iroh muses to himself about his nephew's relationship with Hakoda while Zuko does his laundry.

* * *

Iroh blew the steam off of his cup of Jasmine tea while he watched Zuko fold laundry at the kitchen table. Just because his nephew had left and gotten his own apartment, that did not mean that he did not come home to do laundry. The welcome and regular scene was a bit off this week. Both men were being far too quiet, Zuko because he was being exceptionally picky about how he folded a shirt that was obviously too big for him and Iroh because he was deep in thought, not that his serene expression gave that away.

Iroh would always be supportive of his nephew. He just never dreamed that he'd have to be supportive of, well, this. In all of his thoughts about the future, never did Zuko being in a long distance relationship with a man old enough to be his father with children ever once occur to him. But here they were. He occasionally wondered if Zuko was mature enough to handle such a thing, but his nephew was always full of surprises.

Iroh also wondered why Zuko had so much of Hakoda's laundry this week. The boy normally snuck in an article of clothing or two but this looked like about two weeks worth of clothes, plus Zuko's own laundry. Was he trying to see if he'd notice? Iroh gauged Zuko's demeanor as he quietly sipped his tea. No, he's too nervous to tease just yet.

Not that Zuko was every particularly open to talking too much about Hakoda, without at least some nervousness. Part of Iroh was grateful for that, even if it had made him somewhat suspicious of the man's treatment of his nephew at first. Zuko was never one to easily talk about his relationships though. Being gay was one of the few genuine shocks he'd given Iroh and he was fairly sure that never quite left Zuko's mind whenever the topic came up.

But this was not some boy Zuko had met at school. This was very a grown man. Iroh refused to entertain the thoughts of possible daddy issues Zuko undoubtedly had that tried to enter his mind.

Add to that Hakoda's children and the long distance, and sometimes it left Iroh wanting to shake some sense into his nephew, but he was an adult now. They hadn't just jumped into things. In fact, the way they had danced around dating each other had been a long and amusing process. It had also gained Iroh a regular customer that was willing to order just about any crazy thing that was suggested to him as long as Zuko was on shift. Hakoda was also a very good man and he seemed to be good for him.

Those were the things Iroh had to remind himself of when Zuko was pouting over Hakoda's long absences or was wondering out loud if he could handle dating someone with children. The boy was in pretty deep and Iroh often had the urge to smack some perspective into him.

Hakoda seemed to be in this relationship as much as Zuko was and for that Iroh was very thankful. He treated Zuko well and was there for him as much as he could, without smothering the boy. Just as important, he brought out that all too rare smile of Zuko's.

Iroh let out a big sigh. At least he wasn't still dating that strange obsessive boy. He looked over at his nephew, who was now fairly relaxed into his laundry folding.

"Zuko, that is not how you properly fold underwear. Here let me help you."

Zuko now looked properly mortified.


	6. Flaming Kitchenette of Love,Director Cut

Summary: Zuko is trying to make a special day even more special. Retake.

* * *

Hakoda had become very accustomed to waking up in Zuko's tiny studio apartment. He had learned to not describe the little things Zuko did, like make space for his toothbrush in the bathroom and steal his shirts, as cute. He had also finally gained Mai's approval, which meant she was no longer randomly entering the apartment to check in on them. He missed the coffee and donuts she would sneak in, while they were sleeping, though. Granted, it was an out of character thing for her to do, but who else had a key to Zuko's apartment and would come in while they were sleeping?

So all and all, life was pretty good and today, he and Zuko would have a very rare day off together. Some of the parts he'd ordered had not come in yet, so he couldn't go to work and one day really wasn't enough time off to drive all the way home and back. More importantly, Zuko didn't have school or work, which was practically unheard off. He always had to be one place or the other, if not both. It promised to be a leisurely day in bed, with Zuko. So, Hakoda was understandably perturbed when he woke up alone.

The soft swearing from across the room indicated that Zuko had not gone far. Hakoda rolled over and spied the younger man. He had his fingers in his mouth from one hand and was smacking the coffee maker with the other. It was Mai's evil pet and only worked easily for her. It did, however, seem to be running. Amused curiosity had Hakoda continue to quietly watch to see what he was up to. Zuko was obviously unaware of his audience as he walked back towards the stove, and started stabbing whatever was in the skillet with a wooden spoon. He was clearly frustrated as Hakoda watched his stabbing like cooking motion become increasingly violent. Vague thoughts of possibly helping him drifted across Hakoda's mind, but it wasn't until flaming toast suddenly popped out of the toaster and flew over the counter on to the floor that he seriously considered getting up. Zuko quickly had the toast situation under control, however, and his interference was not required.

While Zuko dealt with the flaming toast, the skillet started to smoke. Hakoda finally decided to intervene. With Zuko already busy with the fire extinguisher, he decided it was best to remove the skillet from the stove, before it too ignited. The noxious smell of burnt toast combined with overheated non-stick skillet fumes and fire extinguisher goo filled the apartment. The aroma of fresh brewed coffee that was trickling into the coffee pot was in no way complementary.

Zuko stretched up to open the upper half of the window, the bottom part being painted shut, and sighed in defeat. Hakoda watched the younger man's shoulders slump as he opened the nearest window. It was clear that this was not something he was going to simply let go, not that Zuko was the type to do that anyway. Hakoda walked over and wrapped his arm around Zuko's waist. He felt Zuko melt into his side and could see him pouting clearly in the window's reflection. He kissed the top of Zuko's head and before his discontented lover could go into a rant of self-loathing more suited to a self-absorbed teenager, he held up the skillet and asked "So what was this?"

He watched in the window as Zuko scanned the blackened gooey remains of the steaming skillet.

"Eggs" was the only response he could get out of him. Hakoda dropped the skillet into the sink. He tried to smooth Zuko's ruffled emotions with humor but it only seemed to make him more sullen.

"Well, breakfast is always better with a show."

Zuko humphed.

"When you perfect your eggs flambé, you'll be famous."

Zuko just stared out into space.

"Clearly the toaster is getting back at your for slapping the coffee pot."

He could feel Zuko's exaggerated eye roll.

"You know that cereal can still be breakfast in bed, right?" Hakoda tried as a last ditch effort to placate Zuko, whose plans to make it a special day had literally gone up in smoke. It was already a special day and pointing that out would have been impossible without getting sappy.

Zuko brightened and backwards walked them to the cupboard to pull out a box of Super Marshmallow Adventure Bits. Hakoda cringed at the hyper kid chow.

"Oh, look it has a prize." Hakoda deadpanned.

Zuko had apparently become immune to Hakoda's sarcasm because he was suddenly only interested in finding said prize. When he pulled out a small robot with a look of pure joy and victory, Hakoda snatched it away and held it above his head. Zuko quickly tried to snatch it back. Unfortunately, with their height difference, it was not an easy task. He jumped for it a few times unsuccessfully. He then resorted to climbing Hakoda with slightly better success. He never did manage to get very high but the full on friction caught Hakoda off guard and he lowered the robot enough for Zuko to smack it to the ground. Both men dove after it. Zuko scrambled after the toy in earnest, while Hakoda's interest in getting the toy was only to bat it farther out of Zuko's reach so, as to prolong their wrestling match. Best of all, Zuko did not seem to mind the occasional pinning and even encouraged the stolen caresses. After much struggling, Zuko held up the robot in triumph once more only to be kissed out of his senses. Hakoda blanketed the younger man's body where he laid on the floor. He deepened the kiss until he felt Zuko's arms drop and wrap around his back. Hakoda pulled back once he was sure Zuko had forgotten all about breakfast and the stupid toy, hoping their day together could get back on track to with what he had planned. His hand slid under Zuko's shirt and ghosted up his chest, his fingers stopping to idly toy with a nipple.

"It's still mine," Zuko stated very matter-of-factly. His death grip on the toy hadn't lessened, despite Hakoda's efforts.

Hakoda leaned back in and moved his hand to slide it up Zuko's leg. "Is that so?" He had no intention of fighting fairly.

An intense staring match began. Hakoda, true to his word, slid his hand further up Zuko's leg, under his shorts. Zuko pretended not to notice, intensely holding the other man's gaze. Hakoda decided to up the ante, caressing Zuko's ass in the way that never failed to make him hard. Zuko's gaze didn't lessen, but he did start to wiggle his hips, whether he was trying to get away from or get closer to his touch, Hakoda would never know. The toy was still tightly within young man's grasp. Hakoda broke eye contact to blanket Zuko more fully and whisper in his ear, "Give up the robot." His voice was low and the way his hot breath ghosted along Zuko's skin made him shiver.

"Never," Zuko managed to choke out when Hakoda started sucking on his neck.

He knew his lover could be stubborn, but Hakoda felt the younger man's resolve melting, as he squirmed against him wantonly, clutching Hakoda's shoulder tightly with his free hand. Hakoda went in for the kill and lightly bit his captive. He worked the creamy skin until it was assuredly a deep purple love bite and he could feel both of Zuko's hands on his back, toy free.

Hakdoa pulled back to look into Zuko's lust glazed eyes. He picked his lover up off the floor, carrying him back to bed to claim his own prize, leaving the little plastic robot on the floor.


	7. Iroh Has Known From the Beginning

Summary: Iroh doesn't miss much in his nephew's life, whether Zuko realizes it or not.

* * *

Iroh had known from the beginning.

It had all started fairly innocently, as these things often do. He had been a first time customer and Zuko had just happened to be working that shift and that table.

Quickly, "he" had a name, "Hakoda," and became a regular. Zuko's schedule was erratic and when Hakoda missed him, he seemed less enthusiastic than normal. If he hadn't been so friendly, Iroh would have sworn he was moping.

It became pretty obvious that Hakoda could be talked into ordering just about anything as long as Zuko was on shift. During an exceptionally busy day, he would linger longer than he had clearly intended to, ordering whatever was suggested to him, trying to get Zuko's attention for just a moment. It may have been a bit wrong to use his nephew that way, but Iroh made sure it was known that Hakoda was to be sat at one of Zuko's tables. Besides, plenty of regulars had favorites. It was always best for business to keep them happy.

Iroh rethought that strategy, however, when he noticed that Zuko tended to be awkward around Hakoda, and not his normal awkward. It was something Iroh had never seen in his nephew as an adult. Zuko was never exactly friendly with the customers and he was socially awkward in ways he'd probably never outgrow, but he had learned to be polite enough. This was almost shy, well the Zuko version of shy, when he was thirteen. Iroh would have nipped it in the bud then and there, but when one of the girls sat Hakoda at the wrong table and Zuko just took it over as if it was his right to, he knew it was already too late.

Somehow, they had learned to sync their schedules enough that Hakoda rarely came in during a non-Zuko shift. It really did warm Iroh's heart to see his nephew so light for a change. His softer temper and attempts at being social that he'd use with Hakoda, had started to creep into some of his other exchanges. Iroh wished he hadn't stopped ease dropping on their conversations though. He'd liked to have known what had made his nephew suddenly smile like that. The shock of it had caused him to drop his favorite tea set. He tried to remind himself it had died for a good cause.

Every once in a while Hakoda would show up during one of Zuko's breaks. They seemed to be behaving themselves, but Iroh was fairly certain this happened more often when he wasn't there. Zuko just looked far too guilty as they sat back at an out of the way table. He teased Zuko mercilessly about it and was rather thankful this was the one area of his life that his nephew moved at the rate of molasses.

Zuko had accidentally stumbled upon a way to get him back for it though. One day while Iroh was in the kitchen, he suddenly heard Zuko loudly say, "Yeah right, your tips suck." He hadn't caught on that Zuko had actually sounded playful, for Zuko. All that was registering as he rushed from the back was that Zuko hadn't been that blatantly rude to a customer in years. It made the rest of the exchange he witnessed slightly shocking.

"Well forgive me, my date the other night had the appetite of a starving hippo and it cleaned me out." It wasn't just teasing sarcasm, there was a bit of a challenge to it.

"If she finds out you're talking about her like that, you're not going to get another one." Zuko growled slightly.

Iroh was torn between being happy they had finally gone out and strangling the man at the table for attempting to date his nephew. He settled on smiling and gently reminding his nephew that he was at work and that he was being loud.

But that had been quite a while ago. Now, he had his nephew sitting at his dining room table for one of their weekly dinners, nervously playing with his tea cup, and looking at him hopefully. He'd just told him that he had been seeing someone and that he thought it was serious.

Iroh put on his surprised face. "Oh? What's he like?"


	8. Zuko Goes Shopping

Summary: Zuko decides its time he starts doing his own grocery shopping like a grown up instead of letting his boyfriend do it for him.

* * *

Zuko chastised himself for being even a little bit apprehensive. It was only grocery shopping. He was perfectly capable of acting like the adult he was supposed to be and do his own grocery shopping, for real food. No stocking up on convenient junk food. No depending on leftovers from the Tea Shop or Uncle. And most importantly, no depending on Hakoda to do it.

After the latently embarrassing conversation that started with "Did you know you only have peanut butter, expired milk and some weird smelling thing in a Tupperware container in your fridge?" Which was followed by, "We have milk?" Hakoda took it upon himself to actually go grocery shopping. It made sense at the time, since he'd just started living there, instead of a hotel, when he was working. At first it was just little things, supplies for dinner that night and fruit for breakfast. Sometimes he would even include Zuko, but then it escalated to the point that he was doing a week's worth of shopping the first night he drove up, no matter how long or short his stent there would be and even if he had to work a full day before, after the three hour drive to get there.

Once Mai pointed out what was going on, Zuko was thoroughly embarrassed and decided that this time, Hakoda was going to come back to a fully stocked fridge. He made Mai come with him. She ate about half their food anyway, so he felt she should at least be there to help carry it home. It did not take long for Zuko to realize the folly in this logic, but by then it was too late. He was already at the store, wandering helplessly, while Mai followed him disinterestedly.

They had attempted to make a list beforehand. The process had consisted of Zuko rambling and Mai scribbling down notes. It had resulted in a grocery list but it was unhelpful.

"Cereal, stuff for lunches, barbeque chips, man food, bananas, vegetables, Mai snacks, beer. I can't buy beer. What is this?" Zuko looked at Mai.

"It's what you told me to write down." Mai seemed more interested in smelling the coffee beans than their conversation.

Zuko sighed. They were doomed. How were they going to get a week's worth of groceries if they couldn't write a grocery list? He didn't even look up as Mai dropped two bags of ground coffee into the cart.

Mai could only handle Zuko being pathetic for so long. Taking pity on her ex-boyfriend, she decided to actually be helpful, or at least try. "Do you cook at all?"

"Of course."

Mai stared at Zuko until he fessed up. "I use the rice cooker and the microwave frequently."

"Does Hakoda cook?"

"He makes breakfast sometimes."

"What?"

"Eggs and bacon or something."

Mai pulled the cart along until they found the eggs and Mai tossed in the healthier turkey breakfast sausage, instead of bacon. They continued on this way through the store, going over what Zuko and Hakoda ate all week, meal by meal, and hunted their way through the store finding the various components. Mai tossed in her favorite snacks whenever they came across them. Eventually, they had breakfasts, sandwich fixings and non-perishable sides so Hakoda could pack lunches, enough snack food to keep Mai happy, several of something called an artisan pie in both the beef and potato, and vegetable curry flavors, cans of soup, and some bagged boneless chicken that Zuko was fairly certain he could cook. They really were on a roll, until they came upon the produce. Neither of them had a clue on how to pick out what was any good. Zuko was fairly certain he could get away with bagged salad and bags of frozen mixed veggies, but fresh fruit was another story all together. Mai, wanting to get this misadventure over with, made her way over to the clerk working the produce section. Zuko could not hear them, but it looked like she was batting her eyelashes and playing coy until the clerk was picking out fruit for her.

Zuko was staring at her in shock when she came back to the cart and she didn't like it. "What?"

"Who are you?"

Mai rolled her eyes. "I saw Ty Lee do it."

"It was creepy."

"Jerk."

Having taken about three times as long as the average person, they made their way to the checkout line. Mai disappeared as Zuko started putting their bounty on the conveyor belt. When she returned, she dropped a box down with the groceries and stood off to the side.

"Why am I buying you tampons?"

Mai just glared until Zuko resumed taking food out of the cart.

Now paid for and bagged, Zuko realized that he had miscalculated how much food he could really carry all the way back to his apartment. Mai was little help as she carried a single bag leaving the rest for Zuko. They plodded along this way, overloaded and a bit far from home, until they came across the first bench. Mai stopped and took part of Zuko's bags.

"Call you uncle before you drop something."

"I'm not going to drop anything!"

Mai wasn't budging. Zuko sighed and got out his cell phone. Luckily, Iroh was very understanding, even if he did chuckle almost the entire ride back to Zuko's apartment.


	9. Skulls and Pink Bows

Summary: Iroh is conflicted while shopping.

* * *

Iroh stood frozen in his tracks. He had been wandering aimlessly throughout the department store. Zuko had brought him along to Thanksgiving at Hakoda's, which apparently included going with the family to the Black Friday sales the following morning. To further prove he supported their relationship, he went along without complaint. His wandering had brought him to the women's sleepwear section and he saw them.

They were absolutely perfect. In many ways, Iroh was in the prime of his life, but even he could not deny that it would be wholly inappropriate for a man of his age to give sexy sleepwear to a young lady, one he was not involved with anyway. But the pink satin short set decorated with skulls wearing pink bows that was currently confronting him was clearly tailor made for Mai.

Seeing the obvious solution to his predicament, Iroh snapped a picture with his phone of the satiny night clothes and send it to Zuko with the word "Mai."

His phone immediately rang. Considering it was his nephew on the caller ID and it was so soon after he had sent the text, Iroh was not sure if he wanted to answer it. There would undoubtedly be yelling. "Zuko, I…" Iroh started cheerfully.

"What is wrong with you, you… you dirty old man?! Wasn't scaring me for life with those girls in the hot tub bad enough?!" Zuko screeched over the phone.

"Calm down, Nephew. You were not supposed to be home yet and I am merely trying to help you find a Christmas present for Mai. I know you were having trouble deciding."

"Why would I get something like that for Mai?!" Zuko sounded rather horrified.

"Because it would be perfect for her and they look rather comfortable. They also seem to be in her size."

"How do you know her size?!"

Iroh was fairly certain Zuko was about to have an aneurysm. He silently wished his nephew would be more observant. "I am merely guessing."

"What exactly about my relationship with Mai makes you think I would ever buy her something like that?"

"She has a key to your apartment, eats your food, steals your clothes, sleeps in your bed, has packages sent to your apartment, and borrows your porn."

It was oddly silent on the other end of the line.

A few moments later, a bright red Zuko was marching up to Iroh with a smirking Hakoda trailing behind. The younger man snatched the sleep set out of Iroh's hand without a word and continued his march towards the register.

"An excellent choice, Nephew." Iroh was pleased with himself.


End file.
